Blog Archives

Oh Tatters!

4/18/2013

Dear Rory,

Where can I find some slutty clock?

Love,
Tatters (Your #1 fan!!!)

Dear Tatters,

From what I hear you are doing a fine time of finding slutty cock (you wrote clock but I'm assuming it's cock, for I have yet to meet a slutty clock. Those whorish clocks with their hands moving all around and such!) and need no help from me. None the less, you wrote in to the website and Dear Rory is here to help.

1. Airport Bathrooms

Little know fact: Airport bathrooms aren't just for pooping after long flights!

Airport bathrooms are a wonderland of slutty cocks. From closeted cowboys to DILFS looking for a little relief to Republican Senators and Congressmen; it runs the gamut! A veritable smorgasbord of slutty clock!

There is something about foot tapping I heard.But, I'm not sure how it all works so fuck it. Just bust into a stall while someone is pooping and thrust your cock in their face. Bam! Weeeeeee! What could go wrong?

2. Bus Station Bathrooms

While it might be a step down from the airport bathrooms, my co-worker swears by it. He's gotten lucky there many times.The anonymity provided from cracks whores, homeless people and gamblers headed to Vegas is priceless. They are willing to go and ready. Plus, they won't remember your name, let alone face, even if you paid them (which you don't).

3. The Republican National Convention

Oh Tatters, The Republican National Convention is like the glory hole of slutty cocks; you can's swing a dead cat without finding an old white guy with a hard on. Cock cock cock cock. Those closeted queen look forward to it every year. It's like the Garden of Eden for self- hating, horny, slutty cocks.

Happy Hunting!

Love,
Dear Rory

Picture of the Day!

4/16/2013

German Glass Coffee Table

4/14/2013

Slighty Used.
$50 or best offer

Mongoose Meals

4/12/2013

Dear Rory,

My girlfriend recently told me she can't reach orgasm without being tied to a phone pole and beat with a dead mongoose.
I'm down with that, though. My question is this: What would be the appropriate meal for after one of our sessions?

One of Your Biggest Fans,
Dom Dellaoise

Dear Dom,

What a coincidence; I always find myself ravenously hungry after a good round of dead mongoose play! Your girlfriend and I must have so much in common. That kinky bitch!
So there a few options you could go with depending on your personal taste and budget. One of my absolute favorites after a good mongoose beating is the Olive Garden:

Nothing fills that hunger quite like an authentic home cooked Italian meal and the Olive Garden is close enough. Plus you always get your money's worth with their "Never Ending Breadsticks and Salad"! (I always throw some extra in my bag for later)

Another fantastic option is P.F. Chang's

I love this option because you already have a tenderized mongoose ready to go and P.F. Chang's can be very accommodating. It's not listed on the menu but if you bring in your mongoose and pay a small fee, similar to a corkage fee and around $7-8, they will prepare your mongoose any way you would like! I personally enjoy the Sweet and Sour Mongoose, or the Mongoose lettuce wraps. But the choice is up to you, have fun!

Or course if you are broke, a savage and/or a hillbilly, you can just eat the mongoose right then and there at the phoone pole. Sometimes that is more kinky than the mongoose play it's self!

Happy Hunting,
Dear Rory

My Favorite Commerical EVER!!!!

4/9/2013

Potato (with an E)

4/8/2013

Dearest Rory, Why can't I count past potato? Thanks, The Nym

Dear Nym,
I enjoy potatoes as much as the next cheap hooker. I think you may be dick/potato hypnotized as I am. Here is some more potato porn. (grab your lube)