Dear Rory, 

I've recently decided to commission a sculpture from a local artist. My chosen subject will be an impressionist rendition of three squirrels fighting over a discount bin CD of Milli Vanilli in a Target store located in Bumblefuck, Arkansas. What, in your opinion, is the best medium for this sculpture, and on top of the commission, would a lobster encased in Lucite make an appropriate gratuity? 

Thanks, Ronnie R.

Dear Gentle Reader,

When I think of Milli Vanilli, I think of Llama poo.  It's sure to be a winner and the squirrels will love it!  In lieu of a commission or lucite lobster, I'd appreciate it if you just adopted a Llama instead.

http://www.solollamas.org/adopt.html

Just think of the endless hours of enjoyment you'll have with your new Llama!

Love always,

Dear Rory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08BRy0MoIA8

Just because I like Butt:

and, pretty face (almost as good as a nice butt) 
:

with Love,
Dear Rory

Dear Rory, 
I am a fan of cocktails as much as the next person. However, as I arrive to the bar by myself, excited about what new drink shall I try until the barkeep becomes my new best friend, I disappoint myself when I end up choosing the same generic brand drink. Do you have any good suggestions for cocktail n00bs? 

If it is noonish you should have a glass of white wine!