The mouth breathing heathens at my office always eat the food that I store in the office fridge for lunch.
How should I dispose of the dead bodies of their first born children when I am done murdering them?
This reminds me of a wonderful Lifetime-esque film I just watched at the Bogota Hilton. It was entitled "The First Born". Basically, the plot involved a woman's deep descent into insanity due to her pregnancy and first months of child rearing. **Spoiler alert** She buries her own child and is totally whacked out on medication in the end.
So just let nature run it's course. Let your co-workers get pregnant. Give birth. Go insane. And "take of of" their own children.
That way you don't have to do a single thing. Ahhhh, the joys of child bearing.