Dear Rory,
I'm writing with a slightly embarrassing problem. I suffer from constant gas attacks. I try and hold it in, but time after time, my flatulence rears its' stinky head. Why just today, I was at the Safeway store thumping on the cantaloupes to check for ripeness, when a thumping started in my pants. That's right, with each knock on the melon, my melon was knocking out gaseous emissions at an alarming rate. I've tried changing my diet, I've tried taking those beano pills, but nothing seems to help. You're my only hope,
Dear Rory. How do I end the gassy blooms that flower out of my pants every day.
I'm writing with a slightly embarrassing problem. I suffer from constant gas attacks. I try and hold it in, but time after time, my flatulence rears its' stinky head. Why just today, I was at the Safeway store thumping on the cantaloupes to check for ripeness, when a thumping started in my pants. That's right, with each knock on the melon, my melon was knocking out gaseous emissions at an alarming rate. I've tried changing my diet, I've tried taking those beano pills, but nothing seems to help. You're my only hope,
Dear Rory. How do I end the gassy blooms that flower out of my pants every day.
Dear Flatulent Reader,
While I adore your 'floral" language, this sounds to be a serious problem. The first thing that comes to my mind is tape worms. (I have my M.D. from an online course based in Fiji)
While I adore your 'floral" language, this sounds to be a serious problem. The first thing that comes to my mind is tape worms. (I have my M.D. from an online course based in Fiji)
Additionally, your method of choosing cantaloupes is incorrect. You smell them, not "knock them". They should smell "floral" and ripe. If you cannot tell the difference, the tape worm has gone to your brain. And you are probably going to die within the month. Please leave all of your will to Dear Rory.
Happy Knocking!
Love Always,
Dear Rory
Love Always,
Dear Rory
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