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Montana Single Ad

4/24/2017

 
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Dear Rory,
Why am I still single when I think I have a lot of good things to offer?
With Love,
Looking For Action in Montana

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Dear Gentle Montanan Reader,
​Dear Rory knows you have so much to offer. I can tell by your "Glamour Shots" in the photos above. You have your personality, the ability to open beers with what is left of your teeth. And of course your personality.
Truly a catch!
Dating can be so hard in this day and age. Dear Rory has found the most successful and long lasting relationships happen to start on reality television shows. Oh, the modern era is so baffling! 
The more hot tubs and roses, the better are your chances will be of finding that perfect stud. So pull the other contestants' hair, secretly feed them laxatives (this is one of Dear Rory's favorites. They will relieve themselves in the aforementioned hot tubs, and you will be good as gold.) Oh, and drink as much vodka as you possibly can. But most importantly, keep it classy.
After all this will be the man you are spending the rest of your life with, and no one wants to do that with a raging, psycho, toothless, angry whore.


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Best of Luck,
Dear Rory


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