I have recently inherited quite a bit of money (I'm a fucking MILLIONAIRE!) and am back on the market for a new girlfriend. I am very specific in what I am looking for in a potential mate. She must be 5'2", to match my height, know the "Swedish Slide", the "Norweigan Nookie" and "The Finnish Funnel".
This is non-negotiable.
Please send your advice,
Thank you for writing in. I am glad to hear you are back on the market and looking for someone new. There are so many fish in the sea, and nothing catches a fish like a million dollars as bait.
All My Love,