Dear Rory,
I have recently inherited quite a bit of money (I'm a fucking MILLIONAIRE!) and am back on the market for a new girlfriend. I am very specific in what I am looking for in a potential mate. She must be 5'2", to match my height, know the "Swedish Slide", the "Norweigan Nookie" and "The Finnish Funnel".
This is non-negotiable.
Please send your advice,
Dirty Dave
I have recently inherited quite a bit of money (I'm a fucking MILLIONAIRE!) and am back on the market for a new girlfriend. I am very specific in what I am looking for in a potential mate. She must be 5'2", to match my height, know the "Swedish Slide", the "Norweigan Nookie" and "The Finnish Funnel".
This is non-negotiable.
Please send your advice,
Dirty Dave
Dear Dirty Dave,
Thank you for writing in. I am glad to hear you are back on the market and looking for someone new. There are so many fish in the sea, and nothing catches a fish like a million dollars as bait.
Thank you for writing in. I am glad to hear you are back on the market and looking for someone new. There are so many fish in the sea, and nothing catches a fish like a million dollars as bait.
After speaking to your one ex-girlfriend who only gave you a "handy" in the back of your shared cab; she told me you were a "Shit Stain" that doesn't tip and smells of tacos. But a very nice guy in general.
The only solution to your problem is to immediately fly to the beautiful Nordic countries you mention, bring a hard copy of your bank statement and get to fishing!!!
You have so much to offer, like your money, money and some more money. Did I mention your looks and money. You are golden my friend!
Eat those Norweigan berries to your delight.
All My Love,
Dear Rory
All My Love,
Dear Rory
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