Ice Cream

Dear Rory,
My husband has consumed two pints of ice cream in the past two days. I find it shocking and am concerned, What should I do?
With Love,
​Dear Rory

Dear Gentle Rory,
This does seem to be a very concerning situation. Two pints seems to be excessive in Dear Rory's opinion.
Is his health OK? Is he lacking calcium? Does he need the fat? Is he feeding his tapeworm?
​

This could be a very dangerous problem. Tapeworms are vicious and angry creatures that are well known to crawl out at night and eat arms, legs and cheeks. (They really love the face as I have been told)

After exhausting research, Dear Rory has found the solution! It's simply a lock that not even a stoned/drunk adult could open:

Best of Luck.
Dear Rory