First I have to say I am your #1 fan.
But my real question is: I have this girlfriend right and she has this problem... really what happens is she always farts on me and then she just laughs. I always say ewww gross and then she calls them air kisses.
Should I lock this down or what?
It is obvious that your girlfriend finds this amusing. She is a disgusting bitch and you should probably get rid of her. Maybe in a river or a swamp. Both work.
If one needs to fart Dear Rory recommends simply walking outside or going to the vanity room.
It is so very déclassé to fart in public, even more so upon your love interest.
So I recommend a Swamp, it could suit her gaseous nature. Additionally, bodies are harder to find.
With Hope and Love,