I work with a woman that I positively hate. She is lazy, fat, smelly, and NOT a team player. She hates me because I got promoted [to her job] when she was demoted for a making a fairly sizable mistake. This woman is 30 years my senior and has been with the company for almost 20 years. Though she is not well liked, she has protection from higher up. I know she will not quit because she did not get a pay cut with her demotion. In essence, she got less responsibility with a side of shame. But the thing is, she is shameless! She shits on the toilet seat! She pawns off her tiny responsibilities on others. How do I get her to quit?
Fed Up in Downtown SF
Dear Fed Up,
Don't take that from the old ugly hag (your co-worker), start driving her insane! Play naughty tricks on her to make her think she's lost her mind.
Open a new email account with her name on it and send her emails, presumably from her self, through out the day about poopy toilet seats and other things you hate about her. Take all her pens and replace them with crayons. Move the files in her desk around, or better yet, to different locations. Have fun; be creative and evil.
If all else fails there is always our tried and true solution: Arsenic.