Butt Face

Dear Rory,
​
I'm in desperate need of your help. I have a twofold problem.

1. I'm a Bimbo.

2. I have a buttface.

I often find that these two attributes work against each other. On one hand, I should be banging as many men as I want, but on the other, my face gets in the way. Besides drastic cosmetic surgery, do you have any advice?

Many thanks,

-BM

Dear Gentle Buttface Reader,

I am so happy you wrote in for advice. Many of my friends suffer from severe cases of "ButtFace".

Fear not!

​Dear Rory is here to help.

After contacting several proctologists, I have been told that there is no cure for "ButtFace". I tried my best, but I think the best option is to cover your face with a paper bag, or you will probably be stoned to death.
​

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Happy Papering,
​Dear Rory