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Bay Area Boob Boy

3/22/2012

 
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Dear Rory~ 
I find it increasingly hard to talk to a woman without gandering at her jumbiles/mamasitas/boobies. It's as if they're speaking to me. I know that it's right to look a woman in the eyes...but when those beautiful boobies stick out 4, 5, even 6 inches towards me...they call my name. Is this a medical condition? Is there hope for me? Will I ever be able to look up? 
~Bay Area Boy who looks at Boobies

Dear Bay Area Boob Boy,
I feel your pain. Everyone likes to look at the "fun bags" every once in awhile, although, it sounds as though your enjoyment has become a dangerous obsession. Believe it or not, some women don't want you to be looking at their Ta Tas all the time. So make sure you check out their body language before your take a peek at their baby feeders. Here's some pointers:
1) Crossed arms always mean a no go (They are doing this to try and protect their person from your lecherous gaze).
2)A thrown back head for an extended period of time is a green light. She's got 'em and you wants to notice.
3) Tattoo on the boob mean she's dying for it. Forget about looking her in the eye. Just talk to her boobs.

Happy Boob Hunting!

Sincerely,
Dear Rory


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